Now a few months back I did a blog on everyday sexism in networking, which whilst receiving a far bit of attention sadly failed to change the world of networking as we know it. This has been particularly clear to me as I have gotten back into the swing of things this September. However, instead of having another good ‘ol moan, not that I am above such things, I thought I would write a helpful article addressed to those men who have failed to move beyond the standard set in the 1950s (of course, none of this is applicable to my clients – if you are client, you are by default absolutely perfect).
- Look into my eyes
Yes…. annoyingly I have been forced to place a badge on a certain area of my body, but you can quickly learn my name by simply asking. And as an amendment to this point, however sneaky you think you are, trust me I noticed. We always notice. So, instead just keep your eye gaze level with mine. Not only will it avoid any awkwardness, but it’s also just a rather nice way of treating people.
- Drinking
Now, I get it some networking events are more informal than others and many encourage a culture of drinking. And I am by no means above this. However, ultimately you are still at a networking event, not a Saturday night at Faces nightclub. So, if when belligerent you have a tendency to become overly familiar – perhaps reconsider that fifth pint before your hand starts reaching for places it shouldn’t.
- Unsolicited advice
It never fails to amaze me how many men, the majority of whom do not actually have their own business, offer me advice on how to run my own business. Now, I am by no means above receiving advice and I am certainly humble enough to appreciate that I by no means know everything, but as in all things context is important, so when your tone is patronising and your eyes are wide, I can ensure you I am not smiling on the inside.
- Complements
Like everyone else on the planet, I attend networking events for business (there are, of course, other advantages,) but that is my main motivation. So absolutely feel free to complement me on work-related topics. Read a blog of mine you enjoyed? Seen a post that made you laugh? Go right ahead. However, is it just weird for you to comment on my attire, hair or general appearance. At best it’s inappropriate and worst, downright sleazy, particularly when you have already transgressed point one.
- Inappropriate questions
One day I would like to write a blog devoted entirely to the subject of inappropriate questions women get asked at networking events. But, my personal favourite – hands down, has to be, “have you got a boyfriend?” – I have yet to come back with a suitably witty putdown to this ludicrous query, so for the moment let me simply say that it’s absolutely none of your business and once again I remind you that we are not at Faces nightclub on a Saturday night.
Of course, this is by no means applicable to all men – many of whom are supportive and professional. A few have even become friends. However, sadly I am still shocked to see, as a business owner, that I am treated differently because of my gender. Now, I know at the end of every blog there should always be a CTA, but in this case I really do mean it.
If you have experienced sexism at networking, your job or life I really do want to hear from you. This is an issue I would like to continue making some noise about so feel free to give me a call on 0208 629 6465 or drop me a line on Helena@helenabaker.com