I sell content. It is not life altering, it is difficult to monitor and, ostensibly, anyone can do it. However, I like to think that in my own little way I make a difference in the journey of a brand. More than that…I also work extremely hard to be proactive, fair and give discounts to charities. Note that I didn’t say nice…sadly I learnt early and I learnt quickly that being “nice” gets you nowhere fast. But, basically I write cracking content without being a dickhead.
However, what amazes, saddens and terrifies me is the piss certain business owners and individuals take when working with me. And I am not alone. I know plenty of horror stories from freelancers across the globe who have had to put up with some downright dodgy behaviour. So below is my must-read, how-to article on how to appropriately deal with freelancers.
- If you discount this, I will pass you more work…
I have fallen for this line in the past, from clients who have made grandiose statements about their intent to pay me millions in content if only I will significantly discount this project. Most importantly, I guess, this has never actually happened. Having discounted my rates for the first piece, the client has then seemingly vanished off the face of the earth, leaving a mere puff of smoke in their wake. That being said, I am happy to reduce my costings for clients who pass me repeat business, particularly those who are prompt payers. I promise you; treating me well does pay. However, this ^^ crock of shit, does not.
- Get back to me
I have visited your offices, or met you at a coffee shop in a location of your choice, which is a good thirty minutes – to an hour of travel each way. Then I have spent an hour with you, learning about your business, brand and identity; asking intelligent questions and probably throwing some free advice your way. Finally, I have written you a glorious content proposal which is not only a thing of genuine beauty, but also took me time and effort. And then nothing; I hear absolutely nothing. Not a thank you, not a “we will think about it,” just radio silence, behaviour I have come to expect from the immature gentleman callers I seem to favour, not from actual business owners. Listen…here’s the dirty secret… I don’t win every project; I don’t expect it. So if I’m too expensive/cheap/not right for you that is absolutely fine. Just please have the decency to let me know. Ghosting me is just not cool.
- Thank you
Like I mentioned at the beginning of this article; I am by no means changing lives. I am not a doctor or nurse and lord knows I am not curing illnesses. But, I do work hard for my clients and am thoughtful, proactive and considered, and navigate the slightly tricky affair of writing copy with aplomb and dignity. And, 9 times out of 10, my clients are happy with my work, many of them even return for more. And yet few say thank you, two short words that make it all worthwhile. So ladies and gents if you’re happy with the service from your freelancer…bloody well tell them.
- Time wasters
You are never going to use my services, and most likely you are never going to refer me on. And yet….there is at least one person every month who decides they want a meeting with me. Lord knows why…they will schlep me into Central London, offer to buy me a coffee (ignoring my preponderance for Chai Lattes) and treat it like an actual business meeting. Except it’s all a farce really…because they know, and generally, I know there is no way in hell they are going to engage my services. My personal favourite was a recent potential client who wanted to pay me in bitcoin should they raise funding. That’s a few too many conditionals in my opinion and I politely declined. Worst part is…I’d smelt something funny, and had tried to arrange a phone conversation, but nope they’d wanted me to come to Baker Street and one of the founders had been an hour late for the meeting. Frankly, I’m not even sure the right hand knew what the left hand was up to. And there was three hours of my life I’ll never get back. So please…look at my prices online, ask me over email or the phone (it’s no secret) and please bear in mind that unless it’s accepted by the tax man (and ASOS) I will have to politely decline.
- Payment
Sigh….Well I guess this point was somewhat inevitable, but sadly clients seem to forget, time and time again, that payment is not optional, but part and parcel of engaging me. And in case they forget, it is all lovingly written up in the contract I send over. But, seriously this time, payment is no joke. I am a person with bills to pay, a fondness for having a roof over my head, and a belly that requires feeding. So please, in the name of the love of god, stop dicking round. At the end of the day you will pay, so kindly end the rigmarole and get it together guys.
And if you are happy to meet the above criteria please do feel free to give me a call to discuss all aspects of your content marketing. Honest, I really don’t bite. You can call me on 0208 629 6465, email me on Helena@helenabaker.com or take a look at my website www.helenabaker.com